my Christmas (most probably)

I know, Christmas is approaching. I've been seeing it in television because and in houses where some have already been decorated and I've been hearing Christmas songs being played in the air waves. Even the climate is telling me that Christmas is already approaching as the cool breeze of air touches my whole body as the night approaches. There is just one thing that bothers me. When I watched a variety show this lunch time, there was this contestant that was asked by the hosts what is Christmas for her. She answered, "Ung magkakasama kami ng pamilya ko," and the whole crowd and the hosts clapped as if agreeing to her, and it sadden me. Now that my two sisters have gone to Abu Dhabi to work, basing what the contestant said, will there be no Christmas for my parents and me? :|

This will be, for me, the saddest Christmas yet for my two sisters are not here to celebrate the happiest season with us. Whenever this idea passes through my mind, I can't help but cry, cry as if my eyes are the source of the water for the rain. We all became closer, I think, after a confrontation occurred between me and my oldest sister. I start to love them more after the amends on the conflict. The relationship among us siblings grew stronger as well as the family bond. I miss them so badly! The nagging of my sisters to me, the little favors I do for them, the laughs we share together, the whispering of gossips and, most especially, the time when we go to church every Sunday together. Damn! I so miss them! But there is nothing I can do as of now but to hold on to the memories we shared together. I pray for them, for their safety. I know that God's is always watching them. I hope that time will be much faster so that we can all be together, again so that we can celebrate Christmas together!

Christmas for me isn't just being with my family, friends, my partner, having gifts, or not having new clothes jeans, cell phone and other ephemeral things. It's celebrating it with a heart that's loving the reason of having Christmas, Jesus Christ. In Christ, I feel complete, His love fills my heart with happiness as I continue to worship Him with all of me.

one thing

There is this one thing I really miss doing. When I was in my high school, sophomore to senior years, I used to do it, more often than not and if I was given a chance. As I went to college, there were few opportunities to grasp in able to do the thing I miss doing. Until now, my body longing for it. I really miss performing. I miss dancing.

Whew! You don't know how I badly want to perform and dance again. Going back to my high school, I with my friends joined every dance contest there was in school, cheering competitions, the real dance competitions in our school, presentations, even there is a need of intermission number! Name it! Hahaha. I was indeed a very active student back then. Well, besides that I really love doing it, I need to have some extra curricular activity for my honor thing (unluckily, I was not part of the honorable mentions! LOL). Anyways, I miss the feeling of performing in front of so many people. The feeling that you can show them that you really got some dancing skills, the smile I make when I perform, the cheering of the crowd, the feeling you get from all those things. Whoop! Not to mention of the feeling of winning and being praised by those whom you don't know. Aaarrgggghh! I so miss it.

In my college, I only performed very seldom. Presentation for Thinkers EEC and Induction, mini-cheering competitions in Mapua-IEEE. Yeah. That's why I am willing to teach little steps in mini-cheering competitions even though I'm not an applicant of IEEE anymore. Hahaha. I just love dancing, that's all.

Now that I am not privileged to showcase my dancing prowess, hahahaha! Call me lunatic, crazy, anything! I dance even in our house! Of course when I'm alone! I'm not that freak, you know! Even before getting to sleep, I fantasize of performing in ASAP! I don't what I'm thinking! LOL. Maybe it's one of my ways to channel my longing for dancing. If I was given a chance anything related to dancing, hell I'll grab that chance! ^^

How about you, what do miss doin'?

understanding & forgiving, emancipation, life

I was SCAMMED in Friends For Sale, not only ONCE but TWICE! Almost 1B of my money from that application was taken from me by two persons whom I don't know, who took advantage of my ability to give so much trust to people. I was mad, freaked out, cursed them.

I went to church just this morning. As I sing praise and worship songs, which happen that those were the songs I really like, in an instant I realized so many things regarding my FFS.

UNDERSTANDING and FORGIVING

Those people who scammed me reasoned out that they too were scammed by other people. In order to get their money back, they have to scam back. One of those said (quoting):

"hi.. sorry.. but i was scammed by a Guy.. Named Mesho.. but theres nothing i could to but to SCAMMED BACK.. sorry :(

"HOPE u understand my friend EDDIE.. sometimes we NEED to be CRUEL in order to be KIND.. BAD people can make us DO BAD THINGS.. sorry for the Guy who i just scammed.. its just that.. i got scammed.. and its part of the game.. sorry :)"

I know he's a little bit unreasonable. The equation BAD+BAD=KIND is unequal not to mathematics but to all who love and hate math. When I was first scammed, my mind never suggested to me, not even a bit, to scam others in order to regain what was stolen from me. I was mad, I freaked out, I cursed them. WAS.

Understand - that's the first thing that came to me. Even though it had been difficult for me, I must understand. God wants me to. I know, before I can forgive other people, I must understand them. True, isn't? I freaked out because, at first I didn't understand. But when I tried, that out of madness also, they scammed others, me, I feel that I can forgive them. Now, I did. I forgive them, without any other conviction and hesitation, I forgive them =) In return, please forgive me for the things I have done. Sorry.

EMANCIPATION

Nothing. I just realized how I become such a slave by facebook that I really got really affected by this incident. I know. I reacted much with such pathetic application. I AM A FACEBOOK ADDICT. Hell yeah I admit! And yeah I'm pathetic! Facebook has takin' over my studies, time, sleeping habit, my life! :(

In order for me to avoid more problems caused by this addiction, I'll try to lessen (no, I'LL LESSEN) my facebook-hours. Until I can have a life independent of this site. Please pray for me. I'm the chef, pilot, farmer of my own life!

LIFE

SCAM. Though that was just a game, I thought, "If they can do this in a game, there is a probability that they can do it in real life," am I right? yeah. I mean, they're mind were corrupted that they thought of taking advantage of others. There will come a point that they have to do it because others had done it to them. Same principle, right? The difference? It'll be, in any form, more painful, wouldn't it? That's cruelty. That's life. I still can't imagine my life when I step out of my college. One thing must be done, I must equip my self well. Build my beliefs, my principle, my faith. :)

A simple experience made me realize so many things! I hope you too were able to grasp what I conveyed.