again

I feel weak. I need strength. Lord, please help me T.T

No Directions

"The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play." -Arnold J. Toynbe

It's been two months, or maybe when the day I stopped becoming one, since I become an officer of the Mapua-IEEE, my beloved organization. Since the day that I resigned or whatever, though changes are inevitable, it never occurred to me that it will result to this.

As what the title of my blog says, I have no directions! I think that this is the effect of not being involved in the organization as an officer anymore. When I started to become an officer, serving as an Assistant CoE Coordinator in the Research and Development Committee and later as the Research Coordinator of the same committee, I was eager to do things that concern the organization. I attended every committee and general meetings as much as I could (though I missed a couple because of some reasons), I prepared the form for one of the seminars and some minutes and assessments that my boss, Arjie and Ching told me to do, did all the pre parations for the Project Design Competition (the event being held by the Mapua-IEEE organized by the RnD Committee), etc while performing well with my studies. I did all of those eagerly and whole-heartedly because I love this organization. When I resigned in my post and not accepted the offer to become the head of the committee I belong, I think that was the time I started to become "wasted".

I don't want to elaborate more of this me being wasted. Some people might get angry when they read this blog if I elaborate it. The thing is, in terms of my academic studies, comparing it to my previous performances, I poorly do my works now. I focus myself more of playing Restaurant City in Facebook, digging in Digg, etc instead of doing my paper works. D*mn! Pity. LOL. More or less, this is the effect of me resigning. Mapua-IEEE has done so much in my stay in Mapua. It thought me the PILER (Professionalism, Integrity, Leadership, Espri de Corps, Remuneration). I know it is wrong to act, or in any form, blame anything. I know the way I act right now is wrong. I realize that. Actually, I try to regain my self again. I hope it won't last long. I have to be at my best. I'm about to graduate now. I MUST BE AT MY BEST! :(

You Never Learned, You Mother F*cking A*ssh*le!

I can't this anymore! I don't think I had the problem when we were in our High School days! I think it is you, Edward! (magalit na gustong magalit pero i-bo-blog ko pa rin 'to!)

I heard so many stories of you and your not-moving-on thing and unfaithfulness. Yeah. First story was when we had our HS reunion. You never came there. We wondered why until Mario saw your text message to my friend Marriane, who happens to be your girlfriend, saying something like she's with us in an out-most disgust to us, including your closest friends, the boys! For me, that was really pissing. What more with the side of the boys, right??? I don't know what to say on how he has reciprocated every time my friends and I are with his girlfriend. Take note of this, he's being jealous with one of his used-to-be closest friend, Joshua. For what reason?? I really don't get you! We already settled everything when we had our retreat, right?? How come you still had some bitterness towards us?

Second, still in our HS reunion is the sex thing when we were in our junior years in HS. F*ck you! You used to be mad to me (I think until know) being so close to your girl and the hugging thing that made my HS days the worst days of my life. Then, I heard from the boys that Catherine (one of our classmates in HS), gave you a bj while you and my FRIEND Marriane are together??? Crap! What the hell was that???? I don't get you, boys! You are being jealous of other people while you are doing something that will not only make girls hurt but also make the relationship rotten, and eventually be broken. Marriane still doesn't know about this, be thankful! As*h*le!

Lastly, the girl on your school. You were flirting with her knowing that you were with my other friends, Dheziree and Jeena! That really great! I applaud you for being a true freaking pain in the a*s! Marriane never cried when she heard this, she told us she had enough of the crying and she better talk to Edward regarding the issue. I pity my girl friend. She's doing everything to make the relationship work, but you are giving her reasons to end what the both of you have right now. I advised her that she should get rid of you. An unfaithful person will always be unfaithful for the rest of his life.

Between the two of us, undeniably you were the more 'immature', together with your little devils sitting on your shoulders. You better drag yourself to hell!